The portal

One cold evening I was walking to the park and I was looking around. I was heading back to my house and I saw a old creaky dark mansion. I was like and any other horror movie I walked in and I saw myself looking at old Portal thing like in minecraft. There was a note on  side of it. I picked it up and it said ignite the portal. I put it done an there was a lighter near the portal. I lifted it of the ground and turned it on. I dropped the lighter on the portal and I fell in. I stood up and coloured people were the The orange one said “what.” And another portal opened…

One thought on “The portal”

  1. Hi Nate. I like the context of your piece, but I wonder if you took time to read it through before you published because it’s really not easy to read.
    Could you think of the structure of your first sentence? Instead of what you have written, how might this sound …..
    ‘One cold evening I was looking around as I walked to the park.’ What do you think?
    Jackie (Team 100WC)
    New Zealand (Home of the Americas Cup!)

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